"Enveloped" in Happiness

Have you ever had an envelope bring a HUGE smile to your face?

Over the holidays I received an envelope in the mail from a long-time friend. Her creative, beautiful spirit flowed through the Christmas card that was enclosed in the envelope that had my address written in her signature handwriting. I know it may sound odd, but as long as I have known my friend Dawn, I have been obsessed with her handwriting. She tutored me in Math when I was in middle school and I remember going home after our tutoring sessions and trying copy her handwriting. It was so creative and unique...and my handwriting was atrocious...so I went home and practiced and practiced. I have never been able to write like her, but I have become obsessed with people's handwriting ever since!

This envelope in my mailbox made me realize that there are so many small things that can bring about large amounts of happiness and joy. It is something I sometimes forget when life gets a little tough, and this sweet card was a gentle nudge to pay attention to things...because there are hidden bits of loveliness all around.

It was also a great start to an AMAZING holiday season! The envelope was a fantastic reminder to pay attention to the little things that bring joy... because the joy I feel can become contagious to those around me. I wanted to spread joy around like the flu...a good flu (if there is such a thing).

By being focused on happiness, my holiday was profoundly affected. It was a peculiar phenomenon. When you focus on joy/happiness you don't have the time, energy or need to focus on the negative things. I was able to be more engaged in the things I was doing and I was engaged for no other reason than the fact that the activity or conversation I was involved in brought me joy. Whether it was helping out with dinner, reading my book, laughing at the most ridiculous things, or deciding that the 1/2 inch thick bolt that was stuck in the front tire only after the third hour of travel on a 13 hour road-trip...wasn't going to ruin the fantastic vacation I was driving home from. It helped that my friend and travelling companion, Carolyn, also decided to find the humor in this otherwise complicated "challenge" we were facing...and we turned this "challenge" into a road-trip that will have memories and inside jokes to last a life-time!

The amount of joy and happiness I felt during this time was directly related to my choices. My choices about how I would "spin" something, what I focused on and how much I was willing to stop trying to control. It was awesome. I was "enveloped" in happiness.

So, as this New Year begins.....my focus will be on finding joy and happiness in the little things. Enveloping myself in the never-ending loveliness that appears each day....and taking the time to search for it on those tough days...when it takes a little more effort. It is worth putting forth the effort because when I don't take the time to look for the good things, I am really missing out. I am so thankful for the fantastic holiday that I just wrapped up.

A holiday season that started with a sweet Christmas card from a dear friend...who has the coolest handwriting I have ever seen.

xoxo

happy new year!

e~

40..... is the magic number

I recently celebrated my 40th birthday. My friends threw me the most FANTASTIC party! I knew it was going to be awesome, but I had no idea how awesome. I mean...what kind of friends make jello shots that looked like little orange slices?  AWESOME friends! That's who!

This post isn't going to be about the fabulous party they threw for me or that the party also included a unicorn piñata (what did I tell you....awesome!!!) I can write more on that later; 

You see.... When you turn 40, you become reflective...at least for a few minutes. I think it is because it really could be the middle of your life.   For me it was a time to take stock in the things I have accomplished and my future endeavors phases. My reflective moment had me creating a list of things that I felt were a part of what makes my life awesome. Some things on the list you might have heard before...but I thought I would share anyway.  I will keep the list to 20 nuggets of "advice" ( I use that term very loosely).  Please feel free to comment with your own little nuggets (that sounds weird...but funny weird, so I'm not editing it out) So....here you go:

1. Don't "collect" friends. It's better to have a close group of friends who will really show-up for you, instead of a contact list full of friends who will show up for your Superbowl party... but won't be there for you when you decide to adopt 2 puppies at the same time and are totally regretting your decision. (that's a true story... for a later post)
2. There is nothing wrong with turning down an invitation to do something. If you don't want to go out, just say so. Don't  make up an excuse.
3. Your relationships with your family members can change over time. A lot of it has to do with how you deal with things. Remember...you are now an adult, act like one even if the other adults aren't.
4. Don't be so serious. Make sure you have as much fun as you can... at most everything you do. 
5. The "fun" (see #4) should include lots of laughter (which might require Depends if you have a weak bladder).
6. If you've picked your friends according to #1... then #2 shouldn't be a problem. Real friends learn who you are...but you need to do the same for them. They also need to call you out on your shit. That's what friend do. 
7. Forgive yourself for stupid things you did as a kid, teenager and young adult. Once you're 30...you're old enough to know better and will have to live with that guilt until you die, sorry.
8. Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission
9. Fart jokes are still funny at 40. If you don't think so...I'm sorry that you are missing out
10. Not every friend has to be a best friend. Friends play various roles in your life, and sometimes the roles change as time goes on. It's OK. Sometimes a friendship might have run its course. It takes courage to walk away from a friendship that isn't working out anymore, but it is worth freeing up yourself and that person to have the right people in your lives. 
11. You can have views that are different than your family members and still be able to get along really well...but you have to be brave enough to set ground rules when it comes to touchy subject (ie: politics, religion, paper or plastic) Sometimes the rule is that no one can talk about the touchy subjects.
12. I would rather live paycheck to paycheck doing something I love than have lots of money that I earned doing something that doesn't bring me joy. (but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy winning the lottery....even just the $100,000 jackpot....I'm not greedy)
13. Be sure to have at least one friend who will honestly tell you if your ass looks like a billboard in those pants...and be sure she goes shopping with you every time. 
14. Don't do something you know you won't enjoy doing just to go along with the crowd; but also be willing to try something new, if you have some interest in it...even if it scares you. (example: I won't go skydiving...ever. I have NO interest in trying it. I don't understand the concept of voluntarily throwing yourself out of a plane..... I did, however, have a group of friends convince me to backpack across Mexico and work on an organic farm with them for a month, a few summers ago....I had NEVER been camping before this trip. Yes, it was outside my comfort zone...but traveling is something I love...it was a life changing experience...totally worth it!  I'll blog about the Mexico trip at some point too!)
15. Everyone should live in a big city for at least 6 months in their life. It's good for your soul...and it also makes you appreciate the small town you grew up in (hopefully...unless you grew up in a small town that totally sucks...if you did, just skip #15)
16. The level of happiness in your life solely depends on you. No one else.
17. If you are still blaming you parents, siblings, exes, 8th grade Volleyball coach, etc...for your problems/unhappiness...you are wasting a lot of time and missing out on life
18. Your presence in this world changes people's lives. Think about that. 
19. Know that everything you post on Facebook or on your blog goes into your permanent record
20. Just because your opinion is different than someone else's doesn't mean either of you are wrong it just means that you have a differing opinion...unless it involves the following..then you are TOTALLY wrong:
• If you like Rick Perry (he is an asshat...I don't care what you say)
• If you like Mariah Carey's music (although I can forgive you for this one... I may hold it against you, but I can forgive you..but you're still wrong)
• If you think it is OK to bash someone because of race, sexual orientation or special needs. (policial affiliations are fair game...just sayin')

I could have gone on and on with my list of nuggets....but I'll stop (because I'm really tired and want to go to bed)...but I will leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes....

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

~Dr. Seuss

~e